In yet another brilliant “news” story from The Onion, we get the chance to see exactly how dangerous it would be if attractive girls ever teamed up and formed a union. For example, in the video posted below the attractive girls union refuses to deal with a guy until he “guarantees topics of conversation outside of video games, his job at Barnes & Noble, and the New York Giants.”

And as if that isn’t scary enough, one analyst comments that guys will now have “zero chance with the attractive girls union, barring some unforeseen influx of money or if they join a band.”

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