Beautiful hands used to be a sign of high class. Women would ornament their hands to imply they didn’t do any of the dirty housework themselves. (We bet they barely washed their hands.) However, much to society’s detriment, it has become a ridiculous multi-million dollar industry as a means to express oneself. When you get your nails did, don’t do what these ladies have done in these 20 Craziest Nail Designs. (These are almost as crazy as these 10 Ridiculous Jonas Brothers Fans or these 13 Photos of Crazy Music Stars.)
20. Creepy Masks
Me:”Oh, I didn’t know you liked wrestling!”
Her: “No, these are Kabuki masks by which I express myself.”
Me: “Oh, so you’re just crazy.”
19. J-Pop Boy Band Nails
These guys are so cute!!! X-)
18. A Fat Chick’s Dream
Oh, if the decor was also edible. What’s with the chains hanging from one nail? Does someone else wipe in the bathroom?
17. I Can Haz Nails?
Me: “No, you shouldn’t do this to cats.”
Crazy Cat Lady: “But I can! And it’s CUTE!”
Me: “ACK! Stop being a crazy cat lady!”
16. Fiber-Optic Nails
It’s like every kind “Cirque du Soleil” happening at once. I should be on mushrooms for this.
15. Random Balls Of Junk
It looks like she dipped her fingers in Krazy glue, then waved them around in a doll shop to see what stuck.
14. Be Afraid
Extra-long is a design only Indian shamans should pull off. Notice how those nails actually wrap around her head like two rakes. She’s going to lose an eye.
13. Snow White Nails
At first, you think it’s a cute idea. Then, you realize it’s mostly dwarves.
12. The Mount Olympus Of Fast Food
“What’re you from, da East coast?! Hardee’s is Carl’s Jr. where I’m from!” Then we’d fight viciously.
11. Various Musical Instruments
Y’know, to convey the idea of music?
10. “Sesame Street” Characters
These would be awesome if they were painted well. Once you get an Ernie with Downs Syndrome, you should ask your nail technician to stop. That said, it’s a quite inspired use of googly eyes.
9. SpongeBob Square Nails
C’mon, give Squidward a hand already!
8. Barack And Michelle Obama
Daaaaamn gurrrl. And she’s not the only one. Now it’s clear that the nail campaign won the election.
7. Homer And Friends
I like that Homer is outside. It’s hard to fit a couch on a nail.
6. Soft Drink And Junk Food Rainbow
I’m sure those hands belong to a Nascar driver’s wife.
5. Crazy Christmas Nails
This is your friend’s kooky mom to the Nth degree!
4. Here’s Where The Great Barrier Reef Went
I believe if there were mermaids, they would have these nails. Good luck with BJs!
3. Chia Nails
“It hurts when they grow.” Extra crazy points for the egg-cessory!
2. “Super Mario 3”
This is one of my favorite games ever. These are only crazy in that they are crazy awesome!
1. The World’s Worst Tribute To The Utah Jazz
These players should get paid for being on these nails just out of principle.
That’s right, girls do some totally retarded things. Also see 20 Tattoos You Shouldn’t Get (If You’re a Lady!) and J. Chris Newberg’s video “Drunk Girl.”
Written by Amanda Meadows, who’s sure she was drunk the time she got all the Urkels painted on her nails
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