Breast cancer is no laughing matter (except for “The Booby Scare”), but it’s impossible not to laugh at many of the special “pink” products being released by some unexpected companies. While they’re not going to save you’re life, or remind you to do a breast self-exam, they may come in handy if you need to shoot someone or need your floors cleaned. Here is a countdown of the 15 Strangest Breast Cancer Awareness Products.
15. Ped Egg
No one can get mad about you whipping out a heel scraper in public with this pink ribbon adorned Ped Egg. Now you can save lives while you file your feet!
14. Roomba
This is definitely the laziest way to show support for the cause, a robotic vacuum cleaner. It does the charity work for you.
13. A DMPS Panther Lite 16″ Rifler Special Edition PINK
This one can be found on a hunting website. So, are women killing deer to promote breast cancer awareness? Kill a buck, save a boob. That seems right.
12. SpongeBob Special Edition
Even in a pineapple under the sea, this Nickelodeon star uses his fame to spread awareness. Unfortunately, this particular shade makes poor SpongeBob look a little seasick.
11. 7-11 Pink Donuts
Go ahead. Eat the whole dozen. It would probably be insensitive not to, right?
10. Tomboy Tools Hammer
Their caption is great and all, but I would have gone with “Don’t be a tool! Give yourself a breast exam.”
9. Tears From Heaven Fireworks
This is clearly the most fun way to raise awareness, 16 exploding pink roman candles. Please don’t blow up your hand to save a breast.
8. Campbell’s Soup: Pink Ribbon Edition
It’s a mmm… mmm… good cause, but an unappealing color for a soup can.
7. The Singer Pink
The singer teamed up with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation in 2005. It was a match made in boob heaven.
6. Natural Contours Petite Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Ribbon Vibrator
Are you plagued with post masturbation guilt? Eliminate that problem by purchasing a “personal massager” that donates a portion of the proceeds to breast cancer research.
5. Delta’s Pink Airplane
You: “We’ve been sitting on the runway for three hours!”
Stewardess: “This is a breast cancer awareness flight.”
You: “Oh, sorry.”
4. Hanky Panky Breast Cancer Lace Thong
If you’re going to have a string of lace shoved up your butt, it might as well be for a charitable organization.
3. Pink Inflatable Beer Pong Table By Port-O-Pong
This special edition pink, portable beer pong table is the perfect way for every man-child to promote breast cancer awareness without tarnishing his reputation as an immature, carefree bro. We’re getting one for the office at Comedy.com.
2. Prairie Material Cement Mixer
This construction company’s concrete may be hard, but the hearts of the employees are definitely aren’t.
1. Sabre Pepper Spray
When you are being robbed and attacked in a dark alley, why not use that opportunity to remind your mugger to encourage women over 40 to get their yearly mammograms?
Everyone loves boobs. Check out these 99 Words for Boobs and this classic TV clip that features boobs and bazzums.
Posted by Tricia McAlpin, who has just stopped loving the color pink.
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