Snuggie Sutra has hit the Internet with some fierce buzz. As far as we know, it was meant as a cute joke, but people seem to like this UN-ironically. Looks like we need to explain to the internet 5 Reasons Why The Snuggie Sutra Is Ridiculous, thus hilarious.
5. A Snuggie is like wearing an ugly, unsexy poncho.
Last we heard ponchos are unsexy and meant for Mexican stereotypes and old ladies in prison. Though, maybe the snugWOW would be useful in soaking up excess fluids. Why would a guy want to hold the other end of a Snuggie while having sex, when his hands would have a lot more fun in other places?
4. Two people in a Snuggie would be complicated.
Apparently normal sex isn’t awkward enough. We couldn’t even get through The Lover’s Guide without getting embarrassed and giving up. How do you even get your legs in for this position?
3. It could only good for two things: Public sex and the lamest role playing game ever.
Actually in a way this is great. Snuggies for the homeless! We’d never again have to see vagrants rubbing their dirty werewolf bodies together. As for role play, you have a few options: a druid, a Sith or a dastardly cardinal ready to sodomize a young parishioner:
2. The only people who might actually try this are your parents.
That’s right. Your parents are the ones who bought these things. You will be home for the holidays, and there they are on the couch in one heaving, sweaty Snuggie. There’s only one solution. Never go home again.
1. Snuggie Sutra will make for the most retarded death ever.
Snuggies are inherently retarded. The person who attempts this position will deserve the suffocation they’ll die from, and should be buried in a fleece coffin. Think of how embarrassed your friends and family will be at your funeral. Forget how David Carradine died, this position already looks like a sad homicide scene.
We’re glad this has been sorted out. May we never hear another Snuggie-related joke again!
If this wasn’t stupid enough, check out the Peekaru, for those who conceived using Snuggie Sutra.
Post written by Amanda Meadows, who only bought a Snuggie to match her Crocs.
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