Designer merkins are the newest and hottest fashion trend (trust us, we know things). For those with serious merkin needs, this post might be for you. However, if you find merkins kinda gross and creepy, then you… will also like this post, because we will urge you to imagine these colorful designs slapped onto a gentleman or lady’s (your choice!) pelvic region. Let’s all laugh at 5 merkin looks that we’re perversely grateful for.
5. Vegas-Themed Merkins
Why is it we meticulously wax our bikini areas then wax nostalgic over what’s been lost? The only thing worse than a merkin is this sheer full-body merkin thing. Hrm. Let’s see what we have: an 8-ball, a clover and a huge fuzzy dice hat. Maybe the theme is… luck? We guess it’s done in only the most ironic way possible.
4. Merkin-Themed Dance Troupes
OMG, things have been flipped! Finally, we have discovered an organized dance group whose point of pride is their glorious merkinry. We can’t wait to see the Bearded Oysters at Burning Man again this year, dressed as furry Valkyries.
3. Hipster-Craft Merkins
We’re sure hipsters don’t realize this is hilarious for a whole other reason they think it’s funny. Pipecleaner pubes are the new “Juno” title design. And a PBR label merkin is probably the ultimate gag-to-getting laid idea since those stupid hippie headbands.
2. “Merkins” That Are Actually Fly Fishing Lures
These little furry monsters are apparently used for fishing. With names like “merkin crab,” what were we supposed to think? Hey, we didn’t realize fly fishing was so funny. Thanks, Google Images!
1. Muppet Merkins
Thanks to enlightening recent news, you can’t look at Lady Gaga’s Muppet dress without now realizing it’s just a really huge Muppet merkin to cover her lady bulge. Isn’t there something poetic about choosing Animal as a hermaphrodite’s merkin?
If you’re wondering how to get this image out of your head, nothing better than Fergie caught pinching her penis in public. It’s an epidemic!
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