While many labels blur in definition over time, what remains constant is the douchebag, but seriously: lately, what we categorize as a “douche move” is rapidly expanding. It’s time to take a look at the latest developments in douchebaggery to avoid. Best case scenario you’ll end up here, but be realistic: see what isn’t getting you laid this week.
6) Openly Reading this at Starbucks
Girls just don’t love vans like they used to. Pophangover recently compiled a list of the worst found library books, and our favorite is this one.
5) Introducing your Girlfriend to Squid Sex
As this guy confesses, it is very difficult to break to your girlfriend that you masturbate with squid.
4) Buying Sex Dolls for Your Dogs
Don’t buy one of these. First, it’s just creepy. Also, not a far jump in her assuming that you have a closet of blow-up dolls for yourself.
3) Being a Walking Ad for Wax Strips
As seen here, this guy’s body hair is inversely proportional to his shame. May as well wax into your back “open for business.”
2) Stripping Naked on A Plane
Unleashing your trouser snake on a plane will annoy both lades and Samuel L. Jackson.
1) Toting An Ed Hardy Brand Drink
Bobby Bottleservice is jumping in the velvet rope section! Yes, wearing anything Ed Hardy makes you a total douchebag, but the world’s greatest Douchebag label has finally jumped the douche shark by branding refreshments. Buy a bottle and attract only cringes and occasional vomiting.
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