Every little girl wants a pony to groom and fuss over. They start with My Little Pony dolls, and once they’ve brushed their own pigtails they brush the dolls’ mane 100 times. After a fateful kindergarten class, their parents surprise them: they get to feed a horse a carrot at a local fair. Then, if their parents are lucky (and loaded) they graduate to Ultimate Pony Princess and ride a horse around a local stable, grinning from ear to ear.
Then there are gigantic, dead-eyed dudes who want to sodomize the pony.
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You can read the whole story here. While we do think it’s romantic for him to stay monogamous with the same horse for two offenses, we’re also trying not to dry heave.
It’s just as well. As well they know on Hey Look, Animals! those beasts of the field are filthy seducers in their own right.
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