We know, we know, it’s a silly buzzword and women have enough to worry about. But Gold’s Gym is sponsoring the first ever Cankle Awareness Month. And instead of ragging on Gold’s, we thought we’d help with as many tips as we could think of to reduce those unsightly lower leg joints.
So as July draws to a close, try these handy tips to extend your battle well into next summer.
You’ve finally kicked the deep-fried Snickers habit you started at the 4th of July barbecue. Now try these:
5) Get Wii Fit
Even if the cankles stick around, you’ll attract boys by playing a video game. It seems to be working just great for Obama Girl if you ask us.
4) Haunt Yourself with Tubes
Every time you finish a roll of TP, gift wrap, or paper towels, keep the carboard tube and place it in a display case. Fashion creepy dolls out of them. This flesh-toned menagerie of shame will remind you what it looks like when legs are curve-less cylinders.
3) Do All Workouts
Who knows exactly how to work out your ankles? Answer: nobody. It’s the most mysterious deposit of fat on your body. But it might not be a bad idea to start with a routine called “Explosive Legs“.
2) Fear Tree People
Especially the giant tree people, the Ents, who appear in the 2nd and 3rd Lord of the Rings movies. Imagine your legs looking like that in one year, and if that gnarled root system trailing down their calves doesn’t scare you straight, nothing will.
1) Stop Saying “Cankles”
Seriously, put it to bed. It’s 2009, not Victorian England. Women have plenty of other body parts they’re allowed to show in public, and plenty of Hollywood celebs agree.
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