On August 4th, Asylum.com is sponsoring a very special holiday: “A Day Without Megan Fox”.
Clearly we can’t be ANTI Megan Fox. We’re a comedy sex site, and currently the internet is 99% comprised of images of her boobs.
But we’re a fan of variety! We don’t like to wear it out until it’s broken… if we can help it. So here is who should replace Megan Fox. And we mean in all senses- they get Megan’s home, jobs, possessions, everything. We hear her family has a fun Thanksgiving!
So here are our ten best shots at the smoking action starlet.
10) Alyson Hannigan
She’s more popular than ever, but we’ll always remember her as the bi-curious Buffy witch who “did you know what with a woodwind” at bandcamp. Shows up your purported bisexuality a bit doesn’t it Megs?
9) Natalie Portman
She’s seduced Darth Vader, the ultimate man/machine, AND has indie film credibility. No offense, Megan, but your turn as the dumb celebutant in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People doesn’t count.
Famke Janssen
The infamous Bond Girl who snapped spines with her thighs, she went on to become the ultimate comic book babe Jean Grey in the X-Men movies. And she’s 45! Megan might not end up being as disposable as many of today’s young actresses are, but so far she’s known more for running from explosions than causing them with her mind.
7) Claudia Black
Here we’ve got another sci-fi hottie (of Farscape and Pitch Black fame) who isn’t afraid to pack some heat. AND she has an New Zealand/Australian accent. Sorry Megan, you might be younger than this one two, but we haven’t seen you hold a gun this big yet if you catch our drift.
6) Anna Friel
Well, Anna clearly lost one battle- her Land of the Lost was annihilated at the box office by Transformers 2. But she’s got an accent on her side as well, this one British, and she played the hottest (and perhaps only hot) zombie of all time in Pushing Daisies. And when she has a sexy movie scene, she’s… how shall we put this… a little more revealing than Megan. She may have lost a battle, but she’s winning the war.
5) Mary Lynn Rajskub
She’s got comedy cred covered with Mr. Show and Human Giant under her belt. She’s the resident hacker on the most action packed show on television, 24. And, most importantly, she poses for pictures like this.
4) Amy Acker
Known for ass-kicking roles in Angel and Alias, she’s now a doctor at a hardcore weird sci-fi escort agency in Dollhouse. Her character Dr. Saunders doesn’t run away from big scary robots- she turns other hotties INTO robots. You’re welcome.
3) Felicia Day
People went gaga when they heard Megan played video games. But Felicia is not just a fox, this Buffy the Vampire Slayer vet is also the star, writer, and producer of mega-nerd web series The Guild. She can probably even provide her own personal pair of prosthetic elf ears should your fantasy require it.
2) Olivia Munn
Not only does she love video games, they’re her whole career as a co-host of G4′s Attack of the Show. Not to mention the money she’s making on the side with Playboy shoots. We dare Megan to step up her game and go there- on either count. Perhaps at once. On a football field. While eating an ice cream cone.
1) Arcee
Who else? The original Transformers hottie, she could turn into a corvette in the cartoons and a motorcycle in the movie. Best yet- that’s her real butt, Megan. Hoo nelly, just imagine. Every fantasy we can come up with ends in cuts, oil burns, and tetanus. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
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