Even though we’ve yet to invent a time machine (don’t worry, we’re working on it), we thought it might be fun to take a break from writing lists about Inappropriate 80′s Movie Quotes and Famous People That Died During Sex to think about where and when would be the easiest places to get laid. The result is this list of The 10 Easiest Places To Get Laid Of All Time.
10. The Valley
The San Fernando Valley, aka “Porn Valley,” is the only place we know where being a pizza delivery guy can actually get you laid.
9. Plato’s Retreat
This legendary New York swingers club was truly a place where anybody could get laid. Don’t believe us? Their clientele was once described as “an assortment of kinky types from the suburbs: dry cleaners and their wives or fat men in toupees with their heavily made-up girlfriends.” Sounds hot.
8. Wilt Chamberlain’s Bedroom
If you ever found yourself in Wilt Chamberlain’s bedroom, you were either Wilt or you were probably lying under Wilt. Either way, you were getting laid.
7. On The Set Of A 2 Live Crew Video
There’s no doubt it would be easy to get somebody to “love you long time” on the set of a 2 Live Crew video, but would it be easier than on the set of a Too Short video? We think so.
6. King Henry VIII’s Court
We’re not history buffs, but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Showtime it’s that there was a whole lot of banging going on in King Henry VIII’s court.
5. Lou Pearlman’s Office
Just because it’s easy to get laid somewhere, doesn’t mean you’re going to want to. Back in the 1990’s, Lou Pearlman was the creepy manager behind just about every boy band on the planet (pun intended). We have no proof, but we’re guessing it was pretty easy to get laid in his office if you were a teenage boy.
4. Ancient Rome
Do you know how much sex has to be going on in your society to literally invent the orgy?
3. 8th Street (home of 8th Street Latinas)
We have no idea where 8th Street is, but we’ve noticed in our extensive Internet “surfing” that any time a guy wanders on to 8th Street he inevitably finds a lovely Latina who needs a passport and a ride home. And by ride, we mean “ride.”
2. The Rock of Love Bus
You know the phrase “Never look a gift horse in the mouth?” Well, in the case of the girls on the Rock of Love Bus, it’s because that gift horse’s mouth will also give you herpes.
1. Woodstock (1969)
Everybody was naked, on drugs, and it was the height of the “free love” era. Anybody could have gotten laid at Woodstock. Unfortunately, there was also an 87% chance that the lady you did it with had hairy armpits, but you take the bad with the good we guess. You also probably could have gotten laid at Woodstock in 1999, but that time the sex would have been accompanied by a Limp Bizkit soundtrack and a rape charge so we can’t endorse that.
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