Times are tough for everybody these days and all the new technology in the world doesn’t make it any easier for people to get some. In fact, we can actually think of a lot of reasons why it was easier to get laid a decade ago than it is today. So here’s our list of 10 Reasons Why It Was Easier To Get Laid In 1999 Than It Is In 2009.
10. The Movie Fight Club Was In Theaters.
Taking a girl on a date to see Fight Club was like the world’s greatest aphrodisiac. Staring at a sweaty, shirtless Brad Pitt for two hours would put her in the mood for some loving no matter what you actually looked like.
9. You’re 10 Years Older Now.
It seems obvious, but no matter how old you are now the chances are you’re not nearly as desirable as you were a decade ago. Don’t get too depressed though…at least you’re more desirable now than you will be a decade from now. Actually, you probably shouldn’t think about that either.
8. Napster Was In Its Prime.
We’ve previously written about the important connection between music and sex, and having every song in the world at your fingertips for free thanks to Napster gave you an arsenal of tools to find just the right soundtrack to convince your girl to give you a little loving.
7. Britney Spears Was Still Considered A “Positive” Role Model.
Back in 1999 tons of girls were learning from Britney just how fun being slutty could be (in an innocent school girl kind of way). That sexual freedom that she symbolized could only help as you tried to get in a girl’s pants. But nowadays, Britney is a role model of what happens when you get a little carried away and she’s no longer helping your cause.
6. You Could Have Gone To Woodstock 99.
Sure, Woodstock 99 may be best remembered for its chaos, alleged rapes, fires, and Limp Bizkit, but all of that aside, has there ever been an easier place to get laid in history than at a Woodstock concert?
5. There Was No Recession.
The economy’s gotten so bad these days that you’ve got to consider every condom purchase and decide if getting laid is in your budget. Back in 1999, you didn’t have to worry about little things like being broke so you could just concentrate on doing whatever was necessary to get your freak on.
4. Wilt Chamberlain Was Still Alive.
Sure, he died in October of 1999, but we’re guessing that if you were a lady and looking to get laid Wilt was ready to put it down for you. When he passed away, he took a little of the ease of getting some away from every woman on the planet.
3. There Was No Reality TV.
Although the Real World was already on the air, the trashiest reality TV shows – yes, we’re talking about the ones featuring guys like Brett Michaels and Flavor Flav – hadn’t been invented yet. As a result, this country’s skankiest women were out in regular bars just looking for regular guys to take advantage of their Daddy issues. Plus, American Idol hadn’t debuted so every woman that thought she was a good singer had to go to karaoke bars and wait to be “discovered” by a guy pretending to be a music producer in order to sleep with them.
2. Paris Hilton Was Even Dumber Than She Is Today.
In 1999, Paris Hilton was 18-years-old. Can you imagine how easy it must have been to at least get a BJ from an 18-year-old Paris Hilton?
1. Y2K
Remember when everybody was paranoid that the world was going to end on Y2K? Well, that was the greatest opportunity in our lifetime to convince somebody to sleep with you. We hope you didn’t miss it. On a side note, we’re guessing that most of the Y2K-inspired sex turned out to be just as uneventful as Y2K itself.
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