We can’t all live the lives of rock stars and sometimes the best girl we can hope to get into bed is the one that happens to live in our neighborhood. And since that’s the case, we thought we’d put together a list of places you can live where the chances are you will wind up with a nice pair of boobs lying in bed next to you. Here’s our list of The 7 Best Places To Live If You Like Big Breasts. You’re welcome.
7. New Zealand
Lost in all the hype over the last few years about New Zealand being home to Lord of the Rings is a much more important fact: over the past couple years there’s been a 53% increase in the number of women in New Zealand who have at least D-cup Kiwis.
6. Houston
Sheyla Hershey, owner of the world’s largest breasts at the moment, calls Houston home and that alone should make it a mecca for boob lovers. The only downside? It’s Houston.
5. Portland
It may surprise you to learn that Las Vegas is not the strip club capital of the United States – it’s actually Portland. Thanks in part to Oregon’s uber-liberal ways, the city has the most strip clubs per capita of any city in the country which means there will be plenty of opportunities for you to see big boobs…and probably hairy armpits, but that’s a different list.
4. Samoa
While we don’t recommend letting your love of big boobs convince you that it’s a good idea to go after pregnant women, the fact remains that pregant ladies do tend to have enlarged love lumps. And no place has more pregnant ladies than Samoa, where a frightening 29% of all women are pregnant on any given day.
3. Miami
People (including us) always think of Miami as being a non-stop disco and drug-fueled orgy on South Beach with hot chicks and gay guys. But, the real reason it makes this list is because Miami was just named the fattest city in America. And if there’s one thing fat girls have to offer (besides a willingness to go that extra mile), it’s big breasts.
2. Salt Lake City
Miami has the most fat people and Salt Lake City has the most plastic surgery per capita? This list is turning out to be just full of surprises. Nonetheless, if you enjoy ogling surgically enhanced Mormons then you should head on out to Utah and marry yourself four or five of them.
1. The United Kingdom
Keeley Hazell aside (God, bless her), a whopping 57% of all women in the United Kingdom have D-Cup breasts…or bigger. No wonder the British have awful teeth – nobody ever bothers to look at them.
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