Part of what makes Whip It Out Comedy so great (or awful, depending on your perspective) are the contributions of our army of interns. Our favorite of these interns spends most of his time telling us the many reasons why women should sleep with him, so we decided to let him start writing a weekly column explaining the reasons why women should sleep with him. Below is his first reason…
Why You Should Sleep With Me: Because I Make A Mean Omelette In The Morning
Baby, I know how hungry and unsatisfied you’ll be in the morning. But don’t despair because I make the best plain omelette this side of the Colorado River.
People (and by that I mean ladies) tell me I use the perfect balance of egg and milk into crafting together the tastiest omelette they’ve ever let slither down their throats. Their wet throats.
“How do you know just the right amount of egg and milk to put into it?” they ask. “Honey, a magician never reveals his tricks,” I answer seductively as I raise one of my eyebrows and pull my undies down a bit.
And if you’re lactose intolerant, never fear. I can just make you scrambled eggs. It’s just as easy.
All breakfast at mi casa (which is incidentally also su casa) comes with a side of toast and a cool glass of pulp-free orange juice. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially after the most important night of your life, and I expect you to get all your nourishment. I promise on our future children that it will hold you
over until around lunchtime.
I also have a large selection of sugared cereals.
Have you fallen in love with our intern yet? Email us – we’re sure he’ll be happy to hear from you.
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