We love a smooth R&B love jam as much as the next sex comedy blogger, but we’ve noticed that one of the staples of such songs are lyrics that could easily be taken as threats as opposed to sweet nothings whispered in your lover’s ear. So we decided to compile this list of 10 R&B Love Song Lyrics That Sound Like Threats.
10. “Let me take off all your clothes, disconnect the phone so nobody knows.”
- I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd.
If these guys used to have to disconnect their ladies phones to prevent them from running away from them back when they were “popular,” we can’t imagine what kind of stuff they are doing in order to hook up with girls these days.
9. “It’s not as if I’m not totally aware that you want my hands right here and my mouth right there. Girls, don’t play shy, show me how bold you can be. Open your mouth and tell me where you want me.”
- Say It by Ne-Yo.
Ne-Yo may be a new school cat, but there’s something distinctively old school about the way he orders his woman around while pretending that she’s got a choice in the matter.
8. “All you ladies go get your towels, you know what I’m sayin? Cause it’s laid out like that, you know? But wait a minute, we ain’t through.”
- Knockin’ Boots by H-Town
When the name of your song is “Knockin’ Boots,” you better just assume that your work isn’t done until the singer tells you that you’re dismissed.
7. “Girl, please let me stick my key in your ignition,babe. So I can get this thing started and get rollin’, babe. See, I’ll be doin’ about 80 on your freeway. Girl, I won’t stop until I drive you crazy.”
- Ignition by R. Kelly
We’re pretty sure R. Kelly also has a love song with this lyric: “Baby, I want it to be just me and you, and if you say no I’m gonna pee on you.”
6. “You’re my heat, you are my fire, you’re my fire. You’re not mine, I can’t deny it, I can’t deny it. Don’t you hear me talking baby? Love me now or I’ll go crazy. I’ll go crazy”
- Sweet Thing by Mary J. Blige
Sisters love the Hip Hop Queen of Soul, especially when she’s threatening a brother with her own insanity.
5. “Many say that I’m too you to let you know where I’m coming from. But you will see, it’s just a matter of time. My love will surely make you mine.”
- Giving Him Something He Can Feel by En Vogue.
Little known fact: this lyric was stolen from a love letter that Smeagol wrote to his “precious” in Lord of the Rings (Yes, we just found a way to work a Lord of the Rings reference into a sentence about En Vogue).
4. “Now girl, I know we’ve had our share of ups and downs. But we can make it if we try. And your friends are telling you that I’m not the one for you. But I’ll never, no, no, never let you go.”
- Never Gonna Let You Go by Blackstreet.
You can try to runaway from Blackstreet but they will hunt you down with their love and make you disappear. What do you think happened to Lil’ Penny?
3. “You say no, I say yes. Girl I bet I can make you sweat.”
- Make You Sweat by Keith Sweat.
This is one of our favorites of all time. Only Keith Sweat could turn a date rape threat into a love song.
2. “Spin around like a wheel on fire, walkin’ the tightrope on love’s highwire. A fatal attraction is where I’m at. There’s no escapin’ me.”
- Close To You by Maxi Priest.
Aren’t reggae guys supposed to be mellow? And on a side note, it turns out you can escape Maxi Priest by just still being around today when Maxi is nowhere to be found.
1. “If it’s a camera up in here, then it’s gonna leave with me when I do, I do. If it’s a camera up in here, then I best not catch this flick on Youtube. ‘Cause if you run your mouth and brag about this secret rendezvous, I will hunt you down.”
- Touch My Body by Mariah Carey
We had no idea that Mariah was so gangsta. We’d say more about her, but we’re scared she might hunt us down too.
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