Well, you probably read the subject line and expected another one of my stories…you know, something that involves me eating bad Chinese food, leaving my apartment on a stretcher, soiling myself, and then having to get cleaned up by my poor wife.
If I were re-telling something like my last “runs” story, it would have made me happy because I honestly think the world loves reading about what an odd life I lead. I promise you, I’ll entertain you with more of my escapades in the future. Today, however, I want to ask you a favor…
Here is a sobering stat: between one and two people per 100,000 are affected by Lou Gehrig’s Disease each year. And through some amazing stroke of luck and irony, Lou Gehrig managed to be one of them.
Lou Gehrig’s disease is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. The degeneration of the motor neurons…
You know what? I’m not going to get into the scientific crap. Let’s just say this disease royally sucks for those unlucky enough to contract it.
I’d like to help in anyway I can. See, I’ve been lucky enough to be fat, and my fatness requires exercise so that I don’t cross that critical line that separates “Jolly Fat Man” and “Morbidly Obese person who sits on the toilet bowl for two years.”
I would like to introduce you to “Matthew Gluck Runs.” From April to Thanksgiving of this year, I pledge to you that I will run in 10 road races in the tri-state area. Each race will be between 3.1 and 6.2 miles. My goal is to run a total of 50 miles.
How can you help? In one of three ways:
1) Be kind enough to sponsor me, by making a donation per mile, to The ALS Association. This organization is the only national not-for-profit health organization dedicated solely to lead the fight against ALS. You will do nothing – I will run my fat ass off, and you’ll send in a check in November.
2) Run (or walk) with me in one of the races. If you choose to be a runner or a walker, I will make a donation for you, in your name, based on how many miles you run. I plan to run races in Long Island, Manhattan, Westchester, Rockland County and Northern New Jersey.
3) Do nothing, and hope I injure myself while running. That, as usual, will be extremely helpful.
So, for once I am hoping to do a little good for society. Thanks in advance to everyone who chooses to help. If you have any questions about how to get involved, you can email me at matthew.gluck@gmail.com.
Best Wishes,
MG
Matt Gluck is, well, Matt Gluck. He recently wrote about the nightmares he’s been having and what it’s like to watch a Knicks game. His column runs every other Wednesday.
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