The Honorable Antonio R. Villaraigosa
Mayor of Los Angeles
200 North Spring Street, Room 303
Los Angeles, CA 90012
Dear Mayor Villaraigosa,
It’s me, Nick Adams. We met at Jar last year. It was mid-week, kinda late. I was with my wife and her father? We talked about the subway to the sea? Thanks for chatting with us. You earned big points with my father-in-law and gave me one of the best “LA moments” I’ve had during my 10+ years of living here.
For a brief moment, I got to politick with the Mayor. About something that really matters to me, to boot. Maybe you were just shining me on. I know I was being genuine, and that’s all that I can really control. If nothing else, you know that there’s one more voter out there who thinks that taking the first steps toward providing the citizens of this great city with the comprehensive subway system that they so desperately need and deserve should be one of your highest priorities.
But I digress.
Although my political knowledge has only been accrued through reading books, and watching documentaries and speeches, I do possess a fundamental understanding of what the word democracy means, and my fair share of common sense. It is with those things as a backdrop, that I present to you the following opportunity.
Legalize it.
Specifically, I think you should make it a priority to legalize possession of marijuana.
I could bore you to death with the numbers of people in Los Angeles County who are currently serving time for marijuana-related crimes, but you surely have all of that information at your fingertips (Over 15,000 in 2002 for my non-mayoral readers). I could list the many legal substances that pose a far greater risk to an individual’s health than marijuana, but we’ve all seen that information (Alcohol, tobacco, prescription medication). I could take the libertarian tact and lament that what someone decides to do in the privacy of their own home is none of anyone else’s business.
Instead, I’ll appeal to you in the only terms that matter to politicians; votes. The following voting blocks in Los Angeles County would fully support your efforts toward achieving this goal, and would probably vote for you in any election they could for the rest of their lives (A possible run for governor sounds even more plausible when you consider that it could be aided by the sum total of the entire state’s pothead population, which is indeed massive).
• The street will love you.
• The sleazy Hollywood liberals will love you.
• The aging hippies will love you.
• The media — which already loves you — will love you.
• Social scientists and health professionals will love you.
• The entertainment industry — which already loves you — will love you.
• Law enforcement will love you.
Bonus fringe benefit: Nobody will be talking about your personal life anymore! Provided you don’t start banging Lauren Sanchez from Channel 13.
Nick Adams is a comedian and author who has recently written about a year in the life of the n-word and how little geniuses know about TV. For more semi-interesting content, check out NickAdamsWeb.com and read his column here every other Monday.
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