Ever wonder what are the tricks of the trade when it comes to dealing with the paparazzi on the mean streets of Beverly Hills? Luckily, we’ve got a source who was able to give us the scoop.
Comedian Renee Gauthier (a friend of Whip It Out Comedy who you can see in videos like these or live on stage at shows like this one) recently landed a gig as Victoria Beckham’s personal assistant. You can see her “assisting” the one and only Posh Spice on NBC Monday night in the new reality special “Victoria Beckham: Coming To America.”
But in the meantime, here’s an exclusive look at what Renee learned about dealing with the paparazzi…just in case you ever find yourself in front a swarm of cameras.
TOP 10 SECRETS TO DEALING WITH THE PAPARAZZI AS A CELEBRITY ASSISTANT
(As learned the hard way by Victoria Beckham’s assistant Renee Gauthier)
10. Don’t talk. The picture will always end up looking like you need “assistance.”
9. Shove the paparazzi, they like that.
8. Offer the paparazzi a snack. This makes them forget about taking a picture and they love snacks.
7. When they approach your car, roll down the window so that they can only see your eyes. This frustrates them…they get so red faced!
6. Tell one photographer that the other called them a name. They start fist fights instead of taking pictures.
5. Get to know the paparazzi, their heritage and culture. Then tell them what they can expect while waiting outside the establishment for hours to get yet another shot of the same thing. For example:
“Is anyone here from England? Italy? Spain? America?”
“If you have been called cute more that 5 times in your lifetime by someone other than a family member, including a significant other, step to the front of the line”
“When (insert celebrity’s name) comes out, she will not smile, pose or stop walking, but you can take a picture.”
I think this makes them feel like you really took the time to know them.
4. Dress cute and wear make up. You never know where you are going that day for work and nothing is worse than having your friends call and say they saw you in “People” and then lie to you about how cute you may have looked when you all know that you can see the adult acne that you decided did not need to be covered up that day!
3. Do a strut. From the car to the store, from the store to the car. This makes you appear taller. And to ensure length, wear the highest heels you have.
2. If you are going to smile – which you should not because it is known to create a double chin – stick your chin out so that you try to get rid of excess skin that maybe hanging around.
1. Always remember that you are the “hired help.” If you are following the “name,” walk fast because the paparazzi will trample you just to get their shot. Ankles get smashed and you wind up getting into fist fights with giant cameras. You will never win. The paps are tiny, but their cameras and agression is mighty.
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